Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Big Split

It's always a topic of discussion that everyone argues about... splitting the cheque. It's such a hot topic that I actually saw two posts about this week.

One on Gail's blog and the other on Budgets are Sexy.

I have one question? Where do these people get off? I'm tired of being the one that comes off as rude or pushy because I have decided to not pay for part of someone else's dinner. Its ridiculous!

Reading other bloggers post stories about getting burned by friends makes me steaming mad. I guess it brings up the one million memories of getting the crap end of the stick myself. I have countless stories of moochaholics and jerky tippers.

I have decided to tell you all a story that recently happened in the last two months that was the final straw to push me over the edge with this person. I never want to dine with them again but because we are entwined socially so much from now on I will make sure to make it clear we have separate bills.

Two months ago a friend of BF's called us up and asked what we were doing. This guy has a habit of calling around dinner hour and letting us know that he is conveniently in our area and available to join us for dinner. Anyway that night we had already made plans to eat at a friends restaurant which is exactly what we told him. Since we are all friends with the owner he asked to tag along and said that he would have coffee but probably not eat anything.

When we arrived at the Egyptian styled restaurant we were greeted and sat down at our usual seats hungry to eat. The restaurant is a one man show with amazing meals for what we consider to be great prices for the quality and quantity of his food. Right away he asked for our drink orders to which we responded two coffees and a soda ( I don't drink coffee).

When he brought back our drinks I opened my mouth to order to be cut by BF's friend who asked for a Hookah to be brought out. Right away our friend ran to the back to get some hot coals going.

I looked at BF's friend and said "um... I thought we were here to eat and now you are going to smoke that in here?"

"um, yeah"

"Well we aren't here to smoke today, we're here to eat"

"Well I want to smoke a shisha."

"Alright well I'm not having any. Its kind of gross before eating."


It took awhile for the owner to get things set up for the hookah which in return made it take a lot longer for us to be able to order. I was starving!

The owner knows BF's friend is a mooch because he also knows him very well and when our dinners were served he had made up a special plate for him and stated it was on the house. BF's friend ate it up and enjoyed it quite a bit.

At the end of the meal the bill came. BF's friend did not even look at the bill. Instead he reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out 5 bucks and laid it beside the bill. Then he smiled at the owner and pulled out a toonie and stated it was a tip.

Now let me say here that this guy also boasts all the time about what an amazing tipper he is but has obviously not shown that he is in the hundreds of times I've eaten out with him. Which is another reason I like separate bills... you don't have to make up for the cheap ass tippers.

So BF looked kind of confused by the bill but paid it anyway. Later, after we dropped his friend off at home (mooches rides too) BF turned to me and said he didn't think we could really afford eating out at our friends restaurant anymore because it seemed the prices were going up. I was stunned by this comment.

"Um hello?!?!?!"


"Holy crap! Did you not read the bill?"


This is what the bill would have looked like:

Dinner $15 (two course Egyptian meal.... well worth the money)
Dinner $15
Coffee $2
Coffee $2
Soda $2

Hookah $13.95!!!!!!!!

The problem is not the cost of our meals. We know the cost and we accept it. We go there about once a month and its amazing every single time. Plus, we like to support our friends business and there is no other place like it anywhere.

The problem is assholes who like to order what they want, offer you a puff or two and then expect you to pay for it. $5???? FUCK OFF!!!

I pointed out to BF that his pipe cost the same as one of our meals and THAT is the reason it cost so bloody much! Its not the first time we've had to pay his way. That was the last straw though.

Some friends I can split the bill with because they are frugal like me and we split it as to who got what which is totally fair. Others are hoping to benefits from having everything on one bill. For those people ... ARGH.. From now on when they say "Oh just put it on the same bill" I pipe up with " Oh, well we (BF and I) will need a separate bill please" straight to the waitress/waiter.

If they say anything I just tell them its easier that way.

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