Catching Up

So I guess I should let you guys know whats been keeping me so down and out lately.

Work has been hard. With the lead tech away with knee surgery for almost a month things were very challenging. The combination of bitchy tech and newbie techs was enough to wear me thin. One day there was so much fighting I was crying twenty minutes into my shift. The sad part is that I wasn't even the one that was fighting. I flipped out and called my boss. Every single person has complained lately about the working conditions, as we are dealing with some unfriendly personalities in the dispensary.

Last week lead tech came back, but she's on a back to work program. Things are slowly getting better but I'm still on the edge. I'm usually a very tolerant person but I have my limits. All of the turmoil has really gotten to me. It doesn't take a lot to set me off now. I'm frustrated because I feel totally passed over for a lot of really valuable training because there is always some type of chaos going on. I'm also a person who believes work should never cause you stress of this volume.

Today I've cried a lot.

My grandfather has not been doing well the past few weeks. I learned he had a breathing problem the last time I was over there for dinner. He showed me that he was using an inhaler and I was livid to find out the doctor was giving him the wrong directions on how to use it!! My poor grandfather has whistled breathing and his damn doctor doesn't know how to use a Symbicort turbuhaler ?!?

On Saturday we went there to do some insurance paperwork with him and I noticed he could barely stand up. He told me he couldn't walk from the living room to the bathroom and back without needing to sit down for awhile and catch his breath. I was heartbroken. He's mood was sober and he was making negative comments towards the future and his health. I've never heard him talk that way ever. Last year he beat prostate cancer, lost his wife and had his home burn down and yet he still kept a positive attitude. At this point he knew he had a spot on his lung from an xray but couldn't get a CAT scan booked until March 5th. I know this had him very worried.

Sunday I got a call that he was in the hospital. I wanted to go and see him right away. He looked better when I saw him. He had spent the night there and had some oxygen and they had been using a nebulizer with him that morning. His mood was better and he made sure to tease me as always when I was there. They did a CAT scan while I was there but did not give any results until today.

Today I called my mom from work and found out they had learned from the CAT scan that my grandfather has a spot on his lung, a collapsed lung, liquid surrounding his lungs and I believe they said two swollen lymph nodes. I asked my mother if the conversation had been positive or not and apparently the doctor just kept saying my grandfather was in the best place he could be and that they were going to do everything they could for him. What the F does that mean? Apparently its not as bad as it sounds as everything was caught early and is treatable. It's just a lot of testing and waiting right now which is getting me super worked up emotionally.

I have to say that my grandfather is in amazing shape for his age. He really takes care of himself and he's definitely "all there" if you know what I mean. He said to me on Sunday that he figures once they get this problem fixed he's got at least another 10 years before he gets "old old". I really love him. He's my favorite person in the whole world and everyone knows it. I know he's tough and he's determined so I'm trying to keep focused on that. I heard him tell the nurses twice that he had a huge family that would be up there bugging them all the time and getting in the way. That made me feel really good, that he knows that.

It's not all gloom and doom though. I have had some wonderful moments over the last few weeks. BF and I have started planning out how we want to start going through the house scaling down now instead of later for the trip. We've also been trying to eat healthier and drink more water. BF has been working out too! Dolly likes this :)~

We celebrated our anniversary with some take out and a movie. The following week we went to a Bistro on the water for Valentines Day. We had a really nice walk on the waterfront afterwards. BF definitely did good this year.

Friday night we let loose and went out for some wings and drinks with friends. I finally got to meet my really good friends BF of the last few months. I was relieved that he seemed really great. She was totally herself around him and he has the same type of humor as us so it was fun. We got a little tipsy, OK maybe a lot tipsy, and made a detour for deep fried chocolate bars topped with ice cream and whipping cream. Delicious!

So now you are all caught up. Whew!